The Key to my Heart

Can I live here?

2012-02-02T20:08:00.000-08:00

Why are you doing this?

2011-12-11T16:58:00.000-08:00

Am I the only one who is smart enough to not slowly kill myself? I suppose it has nothing to do with intelligence because it's common sense that if you put anything into your body that isn't supposed to be there, then of course you're going to do damage.

One day, I'll build enough courage up to post this on facebook where you, and everyone else can see this. I'm upset of what could happen if I did; I'm not scared of you. I care about you enough to lose you if this would make you shut up and realize how stupid you're being.

Don't tell me that you drink on occasion, and don't even think about telling me that you're not getting into a habit because drinking a lot at once does damage you might not even realize. Everyone knows that drinking all the time is bad for you, but drinking too much at once can kill you just as easily.

You can get alcohol poisoning. You can choke to death on your own vomit due to alcohol's affect on your involuntary reflexes. This could cause trouble in your breathing as well. I won't go into every bad thing that can happen to you from drinking because it will take too long. But the point is, if you are vomiting all the time, laying on the floor drunk, hung-over, then something is definitely wrong.

You said something like you were funnier and more enjoyable to be around when you've been drinking. I wouldn't have been your friend if I didn't think you were fun to be around in the first place. Now you just seem like an inconsiderate, meaningless jerk.
You were so sweet and nice, and now you're not even like the same person. I don't care if you were to read this someday and get mad because you have no right to be mad.

If those people you were hanging out with were your true friends, they'd be looking out for you like I'm trying to now, despite the fact that we are thousands of miles away.

The Moment I Said It

2011-12-11T08:36:00.000-08:00

The Moment I Sait It...
The moment I opened my mouth
Lead in your eyelids
Bulldozed the life out of me
I know what you're thinking
But darling you're not thinking straight
Suddenly things just happen we can't
explain...

It's not even light out
But you've somewhere to be
No hesitation
No I’ve never seen you like this
And I don't like it
I don't like it
I don't like it at all
Just put back the car keys
Or somebody's gonna get hurt
Who are you calling at this hour?
Sit down, come round, I need you now
We'll work it all out together
But we're getting nowhere tonight
Now sleep, I promise it'll all seem better somehow
In time...
It's not even light out
Suddenly you've somewhere to be
With no hesitation
Oh, I've never seen you like this
You're scaring me
You're scaring me
You're scaring me to death
Don't...Please...Don't
Another one...Smash
I'm losing you
Trust me on this one
I've got a bad feeling
Trust me on this one
You're gonna throw it all away
With no hesitation

Smash

Bye
bye
bye...

Imogen Heap

Why don't you say anything anymore?

2011-12-08T10:31:00.000-08:00

There was a time when you let me know what's really going on below...

But now you never show that to me, do you?

Keep Your Heart Broken

2011-11-22T18:00:00.001-08:00

My love will grow black if your heart gets stolen
So promise to keep your heart...
One day I'll come back if the door is still open
Just promise to keep your heart broken.

Moving out!

2011-11-13T22:08:00.000-08:00

So much to say; so little time! This calls for bullet list:

Was editor for school blog, quit for good reasons, became almost as free as I was in 9th grade

Got a kitten named Arthur

Sold house

Bought house

Moved stuff into house

Ill :c

That's the majority of what I've been up to for the past few weeks. (Besides depressing post below >>)

I'm sitting in an empty room that is stripped of everything except the bed, and tonight will be my last sleep in the house I've grown up in. I'm about to say goodbye to the world I thought I lived in...

[this is the part where you go to youtube and listen to Any Other World - MIKA]

Melissa

200th post?

2011-10-31T07:55:00.000-07:00

Hello. I haven't posted in a long time. The reason I'm posting now is because I feel that I have the right to remember why I was so upset when I look back on this year and month. Possibly though, I will never forget. I'll be as vague as possible...but I'll just say enough for myself to read this and know what I'm talking about.

There's this person who was always around. Now they aren't? Maybe it's not something I should be so worried about, but when you feel like me, it's everything you can do not to worry. So I will sit here alone and wait for them to come back, and they will come back if I'm lucky. I don't want to be replaced because I put my effort into that one person. I did everything that I would want them to do for me, and even if they don't do that...the least they could do is stick around as if to reassure me that I wouldn't lose them like I have everyone else.

The end.

Sweet Adelines Competition 2011 Part 2

2011-05-01T18:37:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling too lazy to think back and tell you everything that happened on the rest of my competition trip. I'll tell you about the actual performance, then I'll just share some photos!

I think we did great!! I don't think I have ever been more nervous for a show in my entire life. But also, I've never been more excited either, so it was good! My legs were shaking, and it made it kind of hard to do the choreo, but thankfully it didn't involve too much moving or anything. :D

I heard part of what we sounded like on a CD, not much, but enough to hear that it was quite good! We've improved so much and I'm really proud of Inland Harmony. I have a funny memory to share from when we were backstage. There was a table backstage with things spread out for us to quickly prepare the choruses for their performance. For example, they had a jug of water, cough drops, and I think they even had lemon. I was looking at the stuff, not bothering using any of it, but then I noticed a package of pads as well on the table. xD I couldn't help but laugh! It's like, someone is just about to go onstage and their like "ZOMG I NEED A PAD ASAP!" ahahaha and secondly, almost all of the women are old enough to not need them anymore...so it was pretty random to see. :p

Here's some pictures of the trip!

The view from my hotel room which was on the eighth floor.

Me in my sparkles and stage makeup. Wow! O_o

Big Zip, Amber, and Silver, never go on a trip without me! They even got to meet a new friend, Duck, Becky (our chorus director)'s friend!

Ahaha Well, this is a picture of me and Paula, one of the Inland Harmony Basses trying on some scarves. ;D

We are the competition noobies! :D The first timers at competition! Me (lead), LuAnn (slightly in the back, baritone), Carole (baritone), Meg (lead), and Karrie (tenor) :) I love Meg's face, she was rubbing in her lipstick and they shot the picture before she was officially ready. ;)

Lots of things (kind of) have happened since competition, as it was about a month ago! We did a show with The Palouse Harmony Chorus at the high school which was super fun! I wish we could sing with those guys more often, they're so nice. We sang an eight part harmony song with them called 'And So To Sleep Again' :D I love that!

Then all of the barbershop fun ended. :( Kind of. But we are starting new songs on Monday night rehearsals and maybe some quarteting soon.

I did my ISATS for the last time ever, and I got advanced on all four tests; Reading, Language Usage, Math, and Science Woah, go me! I stayed up until 2:00am walking for the Fight against cancer thing called Relay for Life, started playing guitar again so I can start lessons without too much pain hopefully, and I cleaned my room today. The Renaissance fair was today and yesterday and it wasn't wet and icky out for once, but still a bit cold. And boring. Not much to do like there once was there. Now if you aren't going to buy a ton of stuff, you might as well just leave. Dx

I think that's about all for now, so talk later!

Paiva xx

Sweet Adeline Competition Part 1

2011-04-01T13:29:00.000-07:00

Hello! As you may know, Inland Harmony chorus is at competition! We're in Spokane now, and today is day two of our four day awesomeness! We arrived in Spokane yesterday afternoon and ate at Chili's and looked around at the Sweet Adeline vendor people that are selling stuffs for us. Then we had a kickoff event that started off with everyone one in region 13 dancing to 'Dancing Queen' by ABBA! The longest time member that was there has been in Sweet Adelines for like...60 years!!! I think I'm the second youngest member in region 13. I didn't get much sleep between a slightly crowded bed and lots of snoring...! :/ But nonetheless we had a fun time going to bed. There are five in my hotel room: Two leads, two basses, and a tenor. No baritones???? Boo! When we were all laying in bed at midnight, I decided it would be a "good idea" to try and make us a quintet without a baritone. Didn't work out so well. So then the only song I know in Baritone is "Twas the Night Before Christmas" So we sang that and it was pretty. Fun? ahaha then someone in the room next door told us to quiet down. :D The main bad thing that as happened so far is I can't seem to find my iPod!!!!!! D:< I must find it!! :( Today I bought a verrry beautiful scarf (I'll upload pictures later) and a chorus member talked me into putting my name in a drawing to be a judge on the board in the education class this morning and OF COURSE they called my name. >> I had no idea what I was doing but I didn't do too bad. ahaha, it was pretty fun though. Then we got to listen to another chorus practice for the competition show on Saturday, then we did some practicing ourselves. Something amazing has happened in our rehearsals. We are finally hitting the flat seven chord we were having trouble with before and it sounds great!! Tonight at 4:45 we're going to be doing the mass sing. I'll try to take a video/pictures, it's going to be awesome! ;D I've been saying too many words like "Awesome, amazing, great, etc" Anyway, I'll make more updates once more stuff happens. -Melissa

Tons and tons of updates!!!

2011-03-18T22:26:00.000-07:00

Well, it's been a few days since heapsong1 started. In a very very short summary for those who don't know what heapsong1 is...:
Imogen Heap has started making a new album and has asked her fans to help her by submitting various random sounds they record, images, videos, and even middle 8 solos and words so she can piece them all together to make the album.

(for more info, check out http://www.heapsong1.imogenheap.com/ )

On the first day, I uploaded a sound clip of myself bouncing an un-cracked egg against the side of a ceramic bowl, which made a funny little sound, almost like Mario jumping or something! I submitted it without really realizing that it successfully uploaded since it was having loading problems and IMOGEN HEAP LIKED IT!!! :D

Sadly, my recording material is too poor of quality for it to have worked out. :( Maybe next time though. I managed to catch what she said to me on film! Check out the most exciting 25 seconds of my year!! Please excuse the fangirl noises I made. :( It was also like, between midnight and 1am my time, and I didn't want to wake anyone up so I was like whisper-shreiking xD ahaha

That was the most exciting moment for me, but for my friend Toby...well, let's just say I'm surprised he's still breathing alright. ;) He submitted what she claimed to be her "favourite" sample of them all! And she even said she remembers meeting him a few times and today she said he had nice hair. :') Lucky lucky Toby!!

She ended up using the sound of his sample of a slinky in her new song, which is currently being called heapsong1. So amazing, I can't wait for this album to come out!

Also, Immi added a photo I submitted for album artwork to her favourites, meaning it's a potential to be in the album!! Whoo hoo!

Apparently all of the contributors to the album are invited to her house to have a party...I almost hope I'm not invited because if I were, I'd freak out and have no idea of how to get myself over there!! D: Either way, this is amazing stuff, AMAZING AMAZING.

Although all of this heapsong1 stuff is great, it sure is overwhelming and I can't wait until it's over and I can just listen to it! I think all of the adrenaline rushes and exciting moments have tired me out already! :)

Aside from all of the Imogen Heap stuff, I bought a Mika cd the other day called "The Boy Who Knew Too Much." I absolutely love it!! Hahah it's a little strange and creepy (and he's British like all of the other amazing people) , but it's just the music I needed to motivate me to work out, jog, clean my room, and...scare the family. ;D Maybe I will record myself dancing to one of his songs, because I can't help but dance when I hear it!! www.youtube.com/watch?v=hEhutIEUq8k&feature=related

On to the school-ish stuff. :( I'm not going to be an ambassador next year, because I really don't want to. I had such a nice freshman year. Everything was so peaceful, social stress-free, and quiet. I hate trying to work with people I don't get along with very well, and I don't like the confusing and unnecessary communication mishaps and all of that. And I will NOT wear that ugly lime green t-shirt they insist on me wearing when I go to school events. 8

I registered for next year! I'm taking a year of Algebra 2, Chemistry, American Literature, Yearbook, and PE. Then I'm taking a semester of Music Appreciation, I believe. That's 6 classes +1 for half of the year...at least I think that's what's going on. Maybe not...either way I don't want to think about it, once I'm done with this year I just want to enjoy my summer vacation before thinking about 11th grade. X_x Almost done with school. Then I'll have to go to college. Then find a job. Then move away. Then somehow find a way to survive!!!! D: ...Okay xD That's going a little overboard, I don't actually think things will be like that. But anyway, we can talk about that when the time comes. xD

I think that's basically all I need to fill you in on, for now. It is getting a little bit late and I still have school work to do this weekend as well as some more heapsong1 stuff going on that I'd like to attend I think. I might go out to Chang Sing with mom in celebration of me quitting ambassadors at the end of the year (but celebrating just cause we know I'm going to ;D) I dunno, we're not sure yet...!

Paiva xxx

The Long Day is Over

2011-02-26T22:30:00.000-08:00

Listening to Norah Jones, The Long Day is Over. I listen to this song when I'm about ready to go to bed after a day that maybe didn't go as planned, or was emotionally/physically exhausting. In this case, I think it was all three.

Went to sister's brew today and it was interesting. I feel though, as if I've created something I'm not quite sure I meant to create and now I have to tend to it, because there's no way I can just opt out. I'm not going to go into it because I suppose it's not that big of a deal. I just feel a bit of failure. It's not often I go out or make an effort to have fun, but when I do, something always happens that just shouldn't have.

Anyway, in a bit I will lay down and hopefully dream of something that will cheer me up by the time I wake up tomorrow morning. I just have to keep telling myself that things will get better. Things will always be okay in the end, and if things aren't okay; then it's not the end. I just have to keep pushing myself even though I'm mentally absorbed of energy. There are a few things that are keeping me going by barely and without them I don't know where I'd be. I need to bring more things into my life that will make me forget about the pressures in my life at the moment so I can at least have a distraction from them. Maybe I will start exercising more, or going out by myself. It'd be easier to go out for walks and stuff if the temperature weren't in the negatives. But I don't mind the 'by myself' thing. After today, I learned a lesson. And that lesson is this: I don't mind being alone. I'd rather just be alone, with my family occassionally, my sweet adelines once a week, and skyping/msning with my long distance friends. I enjoy the time by myself I guess. I like walking home alone. I like going out alone. I like being able to ride a bike where ever I want. I don't have to ask anyone what they want to do. I don't have to be judged by anyone, or discriminated against. I can just be me, cause no one else is around to not be okay with me just being me. Because when the day is over, that's all I am anyway. Just me.

-Paiva

Write to pass the time...

2011-01-01T17:28:00.000-08:00

It's not necessarily that I am bored or have nothing to do. People keep telling me that they keep entertained because they have a hobby. So basically what they're saying is that I don't have a hoby? Well that's a bunch of stupidness because I do. To be honest, even if I had the same hobbies as them, sitting around in the same place doing the same thing all day doesn't sound very thrilling anyway. I can only sing for so long until I start running out of songs that I know how to sing, and I can only play guitar until my fingers start to hurt and until I eventually run out of songs to play there too. I can only blog until I run out of things to say and I can only spend so much time waiting for someone to come online to talk to before I go insane. I've taken pictures of the same thing twice, I've cleaned the same spots in my room over and over, I've put posters on the walls, I've taken posters off the walls, I've turned the computer on, I've turned the computer off, and I've already rummaged through the closet. What I haven't done in a while is write. This goes along with blogging, but I will just write until I run out of things to say. I suppose I will write everything and anything that comes to my mind without hesitation. I can write letters to nobodies, share about my dreams that I have in my sleep and the ones that I have during the day. I can type until I've forgotten what I'm even writing about. Like now...What was I even going on about?

Well, today is the first day of the year. The most refreshing day of the entire year. It's a new start where one has new views, new goals, and new hope. As great as this all sounds, I sure don't feel any different than I did yesterday, to be honest. I have no resolutions, because I never complete them, I don't have new hope, not because I don't have hope for anything...it's just I have the same hope as I did last year, which was less than 24 hours ago. There is only a minute difference between the two years...it's like. I dunno my mind is wandering onto something else now. xD

I've been thinking alot about how I feel like I've been acting very motherly. It's slightly annoying. People think it's cute, and I suppose it is in a stupid sort of way. It's only cute to see, not really to feel, if you know what I mean. If a friend tells me a problem, I'm not just going to forget about it. I'm going to remember it and worry about it until I know it's all just in their past and they're over it. I think I've gotten this trait over time, because people wouldn't be like that if they had 913489734 friends. But you know me, I only seem to have a friend at a time. I mean, I can count my friends on a hand, but it's almost like they take turns of who is on centre stage. It's like they all disappear at a time except for one, and then eventually that one blends in with the others and a different one is centre stage. I don't know why, but it makes it so my thought process on the main one of the moment is constantly turning.
I used to have two friends that lived in town. For obvious reasons one of them hasn't been my friend for a long time now, but somewhat recently the last friend in town has faded out. I've lived about half of a year without physical company of others, other than the Sweet Adelines. And even though the Sweet Adelines are absolutely perfect friends, it's just not the same. It's not like I just call one up and chat all day, or invite them over for whatever. We're more like relatives to each other, not the type to hang out with. I do enjoy being alone more than most people would I think. If others were to be in my position, I'm sure they'd make a much bigger effort to be socially active, and if not, they'd probably be dead from lack of company. But you know, I don't mind it most of the time. I do get lonely though, just like any other person might. I always seem to make it through though. With the help of my Imogen Heap CDs and an occasional chat from a long distance friend via the Internet, I've been doing alright coping with friendlessness.
One day this winter break, I slept off and on all day, and when I was awake, I just sat by the light of the Christmas lights in my room, looking out the window at the snowy scene, and listened to 'Speak For Yourself' by Imogen Heap. That was probably the saddest day of my winter break. I did feel really lonely and hopeless. People sure do take advantage of what they have. People do take advantage of their friends these days, not even realizing it; when little do they know there is someone who really longs for someone to just come to their house and keep them company for a couple of hours. It almost reminds me of a story I heard of a lady who became paralyzed and couldn't walk, and she said "People take advantage of things such as having the ability to walk across the room. I can't even do that." or something like that. :(

Tomorrow is the last day of winter break. What should I do? Knowing my family, they might try to make plans to keep us all entertained for the last day, which I almost don't want to do because I'd rather just do what I want as opposed to sticking to some schedule. Although, if they don't, I'll probably just sit around like I am today, not doing anything in particular. I'd go for a long walk and just explore for a while if there weren't so much snow. And it's been like, in the single digits temperature-wise. No one likes to stay in that kind of cold for that long anyway. I could pick up the guitar and run through every song I remember how to play, maybe record myself singing Disney songs. I kind of actually want this break to end just so I don't feel that "ho-hum" feeling, but I really REALLY do not like the idea of going back to working as hard as I was before.

You know, back to the subject of feeling motherly sometimes, I suppose I should explain exactly what I mean. My heart just goes out to some certain people. You can just tell by the look in their eyes as they tell you what's up, or by word choice when they are just typing, that they really mean what they say, and that it is actually upsetting them, maybe even more than they are saying. It makes me mad that there is sometimes nothing I can do, even just to reply, I can't just SAY something. Sometimes there is just nothing to say and you have to speak through actions, but I can't really do that considering that only applies for friends who are um, actually there. >>

ANYWAYS...you see, I'm already tired of writing. I'm not even writing anything useful. I'm literally writing just to pass time. Getting frustrated. I think I'll just go listen to some Imogen Heap....for the billionth time today.

._.

Heapy New Year, Come What May 2011~

2010-12-31T19:26:00.000-08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n2g61ME9W6Y&feature=sub
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FAYZ-RUOE-M&feature=recentu

A Heapy way to celebrate the New Year. xD

So here we are AGAINNNN GRAAH It's been so many new years now that I've had this blog. :3
Time to make a list of things that happened this year:

1.) I passed 9th grade with a 4.0!
2.) I saw Imogen Heap in Seattle LIVE <3
3.) I officially became a Sweet Adeline in February (I think that was this year...time flies so I can't remember exactly!! D:)
4.) I got to know two very good friends; James and Toby <3
5.) I actually made an effort to be social and went to some school events and met some nice people
6.) I failed a tear duct surgery. GO ME!
7.) I've got a whole new crowd in my life. Last year at this time I had quite a few people who just not for me anymore. I'm "surrounded" by better people now, I think. :)

I'm done listing random stuff that happened this year. I'm sure a lot of more stuff has changed since last year or whatever, but those are just some of the main ones. xD

List of what I want to happen in 2011?

1.) .........Pass 10th grade with another 4.0?
2.) Ummm....See Imogen Heap again?

I don't know. Come what may.

Cheers to 2011!
-Paiva

2010's Christmas

2010-12-26T10:52:00.000-08:00

We made it through yet another Christmas. Between trying to finish enough school work in time to not have homework over the break and frantically shopping and wrapping presents; it's been a busy and hectic holiday.

Yesterday was Christmas Day, and it felt a bit different, I suppose. My favourite part was when we opened presents first thing in the morning. This was my favourite part not because of the concept of getting things and rolling in objects; but it was my favourite part because everyone seemed to be most content and cheerful at that time. The rest of the holiday was nice too, but it felt a little "Ho-hum." Despite that, I was able to talk to some good friends who really cheer me up, and I got to spend time playing Doctor Mario on the NES with my mom.

In my opinion, the anticipation of Christmas is more light-hearted and exciting than the actual day. I think the thing that really made my Christmas this year, as well as last year was the Sweet Adelines. I don't know, whenever I'm with them I feel perfect. You might not be able to tell if you were to see me with them, because I'd just be acting normal like nothing special was going on. But really, when I sing with them just for fun, I find it hard to hold back tears. There is something magical about the way we can all sit around with each other by the light of a Christmas tree and not have anything but each other. And when we sing together...that is the best Christmas present of all.

Now that all of that is over, it's time to attempt to decide what to do with myself for the rest of the winter break. Don't get me wrong; I am really enjoying not having to do school work for once, but I really just don't know what to do with myself now. If I had friends in town that could come over and just stay with me for the day, I probably wouldn't be like this. As we ALL know, all of my friends are miles away and scattered all around the world. How I wish one of them (or all of them!!!) could just move into my town and keep my company. Even though I'm good friends with the Sweet Adelines and my Mom, I really need someone my age to hang out with. As Imogen would say, "And I need someone to talk to apart from you, but I guess that's just the way..."

I hope everyone has had a great and restful Christmas! Bye, for now. Xxx
Paiva

Oh, yes!

2010-12-04T09:40:00.000-08:00

I refuse to be upset today, I'm in such a good mood!
My beautiful British friends got to see Imogen Heap last night, and they even got to meet up with each other...I didn't really know until then that they had known each other. But I just think it's so cute. It's like, when it comes to the Imogen fans, I feel like we can all lean on each other and be friends, I just love that feeling of having a little community of us. Almost like a place to belong, in a sense. <3
I've got to push my tush into England one of these days. ;)
Getting to hear their stories of how their night at Imogen's concert made my night, and so far has continued to make my morning feel all happy. xxx

-Paiva

Not the most spectacular of improvements...

2010-11-29T22:32:00.000-08:00

Well, hello. xx

I worked on shaping this old, old blog into a more viewable format. It's a little bit better than before, but still some glitches that I can't figure out how to fix quite yet. I may work on it later, but ahh. For now, it can stay the way it is.
I mean, the music player can stay in the dead center of the page....you know? That's cool.

Anyway, just going to make a quick post because I should already be in bed by now, but I just really wanted to blog!!

The gingerbread house I am making is going alright. The walls and roof is finally in one piece! It took me a while to get the frosting to work as glue, but it's all good now. Now it'll be time for the fun part...decorating! ;D

Other than that, I've just been up to the usual "Wake up>school>talk to Toby>go to Sweet Adelines on Mon. >go back to sleep> Repeat."
More interesting blogs to come, hopefully! xxx
-Paiva

No Christmas tree yet?!

2010-11-28T09:23:00.000-08:00

This is a picture of the leaves on my sidewalk before the snow...like on October. xD

Ahaha I know. As a tradition, my family and I usually put the Christmas tree up the moment Thanksgiving is over. I think we're feeling a little lazy this year on the festivities!

Ah well; yesterday I bought stuff to make a gingerbread house, which I have never done before. I don't know how it's going to turn out. My school is holding a Winter land party thing in town where there is a gingerbread making contest...I'm not entering in the contest, but I'm still going to make a gingerbread house and bring it, since you can just do that. xD
Wouldn't that be so cool if you could make THE HOUSE OF ROUND as a gingerbread house!? Ahaha it'd be so cute...but it probably would be to hard to make, since I'm not so sure how you'd make round walls. ._.
I bought a kit, which comes with the walls and roof as well as frosting stuff and some candy to decorate it with. Then I bought some Christmas candy corn that is Christmas colours instead of fall colours, some neccos to use as roof tiles xD, a little candy cane shaped like a tree for the outside, and little gummi bears that can live in it or something. xD Woo hoo, I'm going to have so much fun here. ;D

There is SO much snow already, it feels like 2007 all over again. xD
I shoveled two days in a row plus raked the leaves the day before that, so I was so sore and I'm finally not sore anymore...just in time to shovel even more. Yay!

I like this time of the year because it reminds me of Sweet Adelines festivities which are loads of fun, shoveling feet of snow while listening to The Rasmus (especially their album 'Peep'), playing Animal Crossing (sometimes with Ally too! :D), listening to 'Ellipse' by Imogen Heap while riding in the car to and from Sweet Adelines. I remember barely being able to see anything because it was SO WHITE outside. ^^ I love remembering those things...

Today, sadly, is my last day of Thanksgiving Break. :(
But on the plus side, it will only be like...2 1/2 weeks until winter break!! :D Which is even longer. Yay! I can't wait...I hope these few weeks go by fast so I can just get it over with. I've found in IDVA that sometimes the days go on for ages, yet the weeks go by super fast. I will feel like it's been Monday FOREVER, then later; I'll realize it's already Friday. It's kinda weird, but it makes waiting for winter break somewhat easier. ^^

Anyway, I think I'm done rambling for now. ;D
Bye bye!

-Paiva

clears throat

2010-11-25T09:21:00.000-08:00

It's Thanksgiving. Again.

Every time I blog, it's Thanksgiving...I SWEAR! xD

Okay...so today on this Thanksgiving, I feel like it should be New Years Day or something. There has been snow on the ground (and a lot of it) for quite some time now. Usually we don't have snow on the ground until after Thanksgiving. ._. This weather reminds me of the winter that I was really into blogging on this very blog. :D Eek it makes me feel so sentimental. xD

The weather is terrible. Beautiful, but terrible.
There is nearly 12 inches of snow on the ground, but the weird thing is the temperature is VERY LOW. Usually when it snows it's just around freezing (32 degrees F) but right now is probably the warmest it has been all week. It's 15 degrees now. The night before last night got down to about -7 degrees F. D; AHHH.

Anyway, enough about the weather. ;D
It's like, 9:30am now and nothing too festive has happened yet. Mom already made the pies...Paiva loves pies.
I think I'll help my mom cook for our Thanksgiving dinner. Maybe dust the N64 out of tradition!

Before I leave, I want to share with you something really funny! Okay okay, so the Sweet Adelines performed at the lighting of the locomotive park in Lewiston the other night and we were on the news! Here's a clip:
http://www.klewtv.com/news/110020094.html?video=pop&t=a

Those are my favourite girls right there! :')
You can see me and the beginning, with the off-colour green folder and tall red antlers at -1:36ish.
It was really cold, and the microphones where TERRIBLE. We didn't even get a sound check...but otherwise I think we sounded pretty good and I know I had a lot of fun singing with them, as I always do. :)

Okay, well I'll try to start blogging more, now that the holidays are coming up and I will probably have more stuff to say.
Moi moi <3

-Paiva

2010-09-17T23:15:00.000-07:00

Alienated to the point of insecurity, I began believing what you said.
And right as I started thinking
As if slow motion thoughts couldn't get any slower

I stopped.

Who am I kidding. I was right all along. Since when did I need someone I didn't need?

I have everything.

-Paiva

Photos of what happened to the poor eye. ;o;

2010-07-22T22:43:00.000-07:00

So, this is what the tube looked like once it was accidentally pulled out. :(

I'm so glad it's not there anymore! D8<

-Paiva

Not impressed, Doctor. >8(

2010-07-21T11:05:00.000-07:00

So, this is a copy + paste of my story of what happened yesterday. It has quite a bit of details to the story and this is the "In a nutshell" version because I don't want to keep writing and telling the story over and over! So here we go:

The doctor apparently let me leave the hospital with the tube incorrectly placed in my tear duct/eye and he didn't even bother to look at it or tell us. It wasn't supposed to be that visible in my eye. We found this out yesterday because my eye was starting to itch...I didn't touch it, but I normally touched my eye and the whole tube flipped out of my eye and was hanging out of my eye. The tube was still attached inside my sinuses, so it was just hanging out of my eye. It was really scary, although I'm okay now. When we called the doctor that put it in to ask what to do he just said "I dunno. Just tape it to her nose." which made us very angry, considering I was in pain and there was a tube hanging from my eye, meaning I couldn't even close it. We went to quickcare which referred us to a wonderful doctor in Moscow that safely cut it out even though it was after hours. My eye hurts a bit still but there is no more tube and it should be okay now.

In the meantime lots of other stuff happened, like there was more to the conversation on the phone between my mom and the doctor who put it in wrong, lots of waiting in waiting rooms and quick care...etc. It was about three hours until I got it out. The doctor wanted me to stay like that over night and then take a four hour drive to get it out. Um, excuse me, but I was not staying like that. I don't know of anyone who would want to not be able to close their eyes for +10 hours, in pain, no sleep for the night, then sit in a car forever just for the stupid doctor to take it out. I think he didn't want us to go to another doctor to get it removed because I don't think he wanted anyone else to see his mistake. >_>
Well, I just hope that he doesn't make the same mistake on anyone else. Because dude, it's not fun.

Moral of the story: There sometimes are sweet doctors that comes to your rescue when your first doctor is off his trolley.
-Paiva

Had a nice dream :3

2010-07-18T10:14:00.000-07:00

Good morning. It is kind of late for me to be just waking up, but I had a nice dream. ^^
The dream in a nutshell was that I went to an Imogen Heap concert in a different place than when I really did and it was much bigger and I was able to see her very well. I even got to hug her in the end. ;______; It was fun to watch. XD

Anyway, my eyes are feeling quite a bit more normal now from that stupid surgery. The eye without the tube feels basically 100 percent, but the one with the tube still feels like it's being poked and feels slightly irritating. But at least it isn't as painful or intolerable. It's just annoying now.

Today is Sunday, and usually we don't do anything on the weekends too interesting. But today, we are going to Pullman to the library and out for coffee. Nothing that big of a deal, but I haven't gotten out for an outing in a while. (especially with this stupid tube in my eye D8<)

So, that's it for now. I'll try to post more posts now that my eye doesn't bug me as much.
-Paiva

Eye Surgery was today :[

2010-07-13T21:54:00.000-07:00

Well, it didn't go as well as it could have. The surgery procedure was more significant than we were thinking. We thought that they just had to break up the structural webs inside my tear ducts, but it turns out that it was more severe. So instead they decided to put tubes inside my tear ducts to keep them open. ._.
You can see the tube inside my eye and it hurts really bad. :[
So the bad part was, is that something went wrong with the other eye and they couldn't get the tube in. So now I only have it in one eye. :/
It was tearing blood all afternoon, but then the blood from the surgery started to drain out my nose as a bloody nose (I know, grossss.) But that's good, because that means that my tear ducts were draining correctly. So hopefully the tubes will stop hurting my eye and I will be able to live with it in normally for 4-6 months. THANKFULLY they aren't permanent...as far as we know. :S

Although, I have never had surgery before. xD So it was quite an adventure. Here is a funny and true story that happened today when waking up from being doped up.

Melissa (Paiva; Me): *Loopy from knock out meds* *sings Imogen Heap songs terribly and in a dopey manner*
Nurse: *is holding my information* *checking to see if I'm awake yet* What is your name?
Me: Mah name is Paiva. 8)
Nurse: ....O_o *looks at sheet, which only says Melissa* Right, what's Paiva mean...?
Me: It means 'Day' in Finnish! *proud*
Nurse: Okay...heh...Well, how is the toast?
Me: Uhm...*takes bite*... Toasty. :3
Nurse: Kay then *leaves*
Me: *laughs so hard that IV almost comes undone*

xDD It was terrible. A terrible terrible experience.
Paiva xxx

Yesterday in a Nutshell...

2010-07-09T07:09:00.000-07:00

Paiva xxx

Here's the word:

2010-07-01T11:36:00.000-07:00

So, my second wind of blogging has taken off in a new area. If any of you have looked at my blog "Crimson Hearts," That's where my new posts for this stuff will be. I will post a link at the end of the post. I had the perfect look of the blog in my head for this type of blogging, and I just didn't have the heart to take down my Rasmus stuff. It's just so...I dunno, it really represents more than a band to me. When I look at it, I take a time warp trip through 2007 and 2008. I just couldn't take it down, so I'm leaving this blog the same, and of course still going to post on it. But please check out Crimson Hearts, which is all new and improved looking. :]

http://crimson-hearts-paiva.blogspot.com/

Thanks!
xxx
Paiva

Lists and Punishments

2010-06-30T17:58:00.000-07:00

Hello all,
I just finished taking a bike ride to fetch diner and chit chatting with mom. So now, I decided that since in the last post I listed to you all of my accomplishments from this summer so far, I will make a new list of things I would like to accomplish. Summer lists don't seem to last me very well. It's all just too much right there with too long of a time frame to get it done. I need a more disciplined system so I could hopefully get some things finished off or at least worked on. I plan to do a weekly list of things to do, to make the ambitions less overwhelming.
I think just to keep log, I will post them at the side as a to do list, so I can just keep adding new ones to the list as the others get crossed off.

There is a down side to discipline, and that down side is punishment. I am going to punish myself if I don't get my weekly list done in the week! Ahhh! But the punishment will be beneficial in the end, which is the catch. Either way, I will get something done!
If I do not finish my weekly list within the week it is set for, I have to do 100 crunches on the "fit ball." Ugh, yes. I will get thin as a punishment, oh the trauma! ;)

Tah tah for now
love and all of that stuff xxx
Paiva

Blogging: My second wind

2010-06-29T17:33:00.000-07:00

Yes, I feel it within me. I feel the urge to blog deep inside my veins. (Creepy sounding, I know.) But I was thinking about how 1/3 of my summer is already over. June is almost at its end and it will soon be July. Now, thankfully I can say that I did something eventful. Usually when I get ready to have this type of ramble, it's about how I didn't do anything and I'm wasting my summer away. But not this time, because this time I have a list to share with you of the major highlights of June 2010.

--Finished my 9th grade finals and passed them all
--Completed my first year of high school with a 4.0
--Turned 15 at the same time as singing with the Sweet Adelines at a parade
--Caught up with my elementary school best friend that I haven't talked to in years
--Went to Seattle on a bus and had an amazing time
--Saw Imogen Heap live (while in Seattle) and had the time of my life!
--Once home from Seattle, spent the rest of the week going to VBS to help with the kids
--Worked on cleaning out old rubbish in the garage
--Had a successful yard sale and plan to do more until we can sell as much as we can. Then we will donate whatever is left.

I lazed my way through yesterday and today, but tomorrow I plan on cleaning out my room to the best of my ability. So June has not been a total waste, thank goodness. Although this will sound cliché, boy June zoomed by!
So, right now it is about diner time and I have a very hot bowl of what directly says, "Udon noodles with tofu in delicate Japanese broth." Sounds so very appetizing, yes?

So starting this blog post, I will be updating in a more sophisticated fashion and hopefully more often as well. Until then...

Warm fuzzies xx
Paiva

x')

2010-06-29T12:34:00.001-07:00

This was me on my second birthday party:

xDD

-Paiva

Backstreet Boy dreams. O_o

2010-06-23T08:49:00.000-07:00

Yes. I had a dream about the Backstreet Boys. xDD
In the dream, I was in this mansion that had a cinema in it, and the Backstreet Boys were performing in it. I went inside and Howie waved at me. He was like, "*nerdy wave* 8B"

._. Anyway.

Today, I have to go to Spokane again. @_@ I really don't want to. Spokane is kind of icky. I used to kind of like it, but now that I went to Seattle, it resembles a polluted tumbleweed town. (Although, I still like Moscow? X_x I'm weird that way...)
But I have to go to meet my surgen who will be operating on my tear ducts. I have no idea when the actual procedure is, but today is the day that we have to plan for it.

Other than that, not much going on. Just trying to enjoy my summer. All I've really done is listen to TONS of music @_@ and play Harvest Moon (video game xD)It's been rainy out (creepy O_o) but today and yesterday it has been sunny finally. So maybe getting outside a little more would be a nice addition to the schedule. xD

Okay, that's it for now~

-Paiva

Updates for June 16th - 18th

2010-06-21T11:56:00.000-07:00

Hello all,

So from my last post, I talked about my trip to Seattle, Washington and the Imogen Heap concert. In this post, I'm going to share what I did during the second half of last week.

So I got home from Seattle on Tuesday night, and shared the story of my adventures about 30 different times. The next morning I woke up and remembered that my favourite Vacation Bible School was continuing. It had started the day I went to Seattle, and I was heartbroken to find out I couldn't be there for it. Although it was already half over, I decided to go help for at least the rest of the week. I'm sure glad I did, because I had a super fun time. I mainly helped with the Preschool/Kindergarden group, which is the cutest group! ;)

We did a lot of games and colouring. xD I have to share one of the funny things that happened during that though. Those kids tell the funniest stories at the most inappropriate times!
So, we were in a room sitting in a circle as the pastor told a story about Peter (from the bible obviously.) Out of the blue, one of the kids shouts, "I KNOW SOMEONE NAMED PETER!!!!!1one!!" and everyone is just like "O_o...cool, but you have to listen." and he's like, "Okay, but this Peter got bitten by a spider!!!" and Pastor Stewart tries to direct him back to the subject by saying, "Yes, and spider bites don't feel good, right? But Jesus heals etc etc..." and then the kids inturrupts again saying, "YEAH BUT HE GOT SPIDEY POWERS AND WAS CLIMBING ALL OVER THE WALL. NOW EVERYONE CALLS HIM SPIDERMAN." xDDD the pastor goes, "Yes, but this Peter is a DIFFERENT Peter." the kid just is like, "Oh... :D"
xDD I loooove it when kids tell stories.

So anyway, we had a nice BBQ (inside, due to the rain xD) and sang lots of random songs and...yeah :D It was fun, I love that VBS.
Normally, I would go to the next VBS that starts today, but I'm too busy. -_-

So that's about it for those days. My life has been very busy. It feels so busy that it doesn't feel like summer. It's raining, and during the summer I'm not used to doing anything besides sitting and going outside sometimes xDD...anyway...

-Paiva

Oh. Mah gosh.

2010-06-19T07:59:00.000-07:00

Since I haven't posted since June 10th, normally that wouldn't have been missing much. But every day except for like, one of those days were jam packed with adventure. O____O We'll start out with my birthday.

June 12th: That was my birthday. We performed at this stupid parade thing (the Sweet Adelines and I) and it went really well. I just hate Genese which was where the parade was. xD It's ugly and dumb there.

June 14th: You will never believe me. I saw Imogen Heap live. Yes, yes yes yes I did I did. XD She was beautiful and her music left me sobbing for 2/3 of the show. My legs were so sore from being in Seattle, Washington. We walked everywhere, trying to find our hotel, a restaraunt, and the Paramount Theater. Then we stood for four more hours during the concert. But it was so worth it. My mom and I had a few mishaps happen while we were there. Her legs were so tired that she just wanted to sit in the back. We had been in the second row, standing in a mosh pit. So she left and I was sad because I wished that she were there too, and that she didn't have to sit alone. Then these stupid jerkface people that were in front of me were like SIX FEET SOMETHING TALL. I couldn't even see past their backs. >> So I decided to go and try to find mom during the intermission between the opening acts and Imogen Heap. I couldn't find her. I was so upset that I couldn't find her and that I had lost my second row spot that I payed for that I felt like crying. I was outside of the cinema part, but still inside the theater. All of a sudden I heard something. It was one of those tubes that you spin around and it makes that high pitched spacey kind of sound. I knew that she was starting. I walked back in and saw her and I just burst out in tears. It was awfully embarrassing, but I was in Seattle. No one there would ever see me again, so I didn't really care. I didn't stop crying until like, the fourth song. But I of course was still mouthing the words and stuff. I couldn't see well at all since I was close to the back of the audience that was in the mosh pit. But oh well, I still was able to weave my way through, sneak a few wonderful peeks and listen to the magic that she was making.
At the end, I was even able to get the stuffed animal and letter that I had for her to her. I didn't give it directly to her, but there were these people closing up the doors and I was freaking out because I wanted her to have my gift. I mean, I didn't want to go home with it and be all upset every time I looked at the thing. Dx So I went up to this huge body guard person and was like, "I know this sounds stupid, but is there a way you could get this to Imogen?" and he was like "No, no I can't do that." and so I turned around in defeat and began walking out when I heard them behind me saying, "What's going on? A stuffed animal?" I turned around to see my mom talking to them and this new man, an even TALLER man said to me, "Let me take it, I'll give it to her manager. The manager will give it to her." and I was so relieved.
So that was the story of the concert in a nutshell. I mean, there was so much that went on between but I'm not sure it's detailed enough to write all of the stuff in this post.

So now that this post is extra long, I will leave at June 14th and make a new post later on of the next few days that I need to catch up blogging on.
Okay, bye bye xD

-Paiva

I don't know where to....start... :3

2010-06-10T13:37:00.000-07:00

But I finished my exams...finally. XD Okay okay enough imitating Imogen Heap. I'M FINISHED. I'm finished, I'm finished. 9th grade is over. It's so weird, because it didn't seem like that long at all. This makes me think that my last three years of school is going to go super fast. :S It's actually kinda scary to think about. But anyway.

Since today is June 10th, I will post a vague schedule of what's coming up for me:

June 10th: First day of summer vacation.
June 12th: My birthday and Sweet Adeline performance at a parade.
June 14th: I m o g e n H e a p concert in Seattle. *freaks out OMG*
June 23rd: Going to Seattle to an eye clinic. -_- I have to get an eye surgery scheduled. =/

Other than that, I don't really know what else is going to happen. I heard that the Sweet Adelines are having summer quartets, which should be exciting to hear/be in. Uhm...I might use up the rest of our chalk in the garage so I can buy some new ones. :D That will be fun to decorate the streets with random crap. XD
Other than that, I'm going to attempt to get fit again. I'm not as strong as I used to be from sitting all year with online school. haha. ._.

Ah yes, and I have no idea when this is yet, but I'm going to go to my favourite VBS if I can ever figure out when it's held. I love helping and volunteering to that VBS, and I swear, I probably have more fun than the kids themselves do. XD

Other than that, I think that's it for updates.

Before I wrap this post up, I just have to tell whoever is reading this something. ^_^"

This is kinda silly, but I keep having dreams about Imogen Heap. XD
I had taken a nap earlier today because I was so tired from staying up late the night before. So I had this dream that Imogen was very sick. Except, it wasn't like deathly or anything. It turned out to be this really funny illness where she didn't really know what she was talking about. It was like she was drunk, except it was a sickness. LMAO. So, I went to visit her, and there were these other two people...I think they were a doctor and a nurse. Immi was in bed. So I sat on her bed and was like "How are you feeling?" and she was like "I feel like..." and I'm like "...right."
So I fed her some soup and stuff, and after that I was rubbing her arm comfortingly because she was all disoriented and out of it. Then all of a sudden I saw her make a really weird face like " 8(" and I was like "What's wrong?" and I turned around to see what she was looking at, and the nurse and the doctor were like, making out. O_o
And she said, "Leave, you are welcome not in my hats."
The nurse, the doctor, and I were like, ".......O____________O"
And I said, "I think she means for you guys to leave her house." and they were like "Oh, right." and they left.

THE END. I know stupid.

-Paiva

First Train Home

2010-06-06T12:27:00.000-07:00

"This song is about being in a space where you feel really disconnected and detatched from everything..." - Imogen Heap

Got to get on it...
Bodies disengage, our mouths are fleshing over
A hiss and echo gain, irises retreat into ovals of white
The urge to feel you face, in blood,rushing to paint my handprint
And Frisbee one by one, your vinyl on laminate
I'm desperate for some kind of contact

First train home I've got to get on it.
Got to catch, to catch to catch, catch, the...
First train home...

Temporal dead zone where clocks are barely breathing
Yet no one cares to notice for all their yamming on,
I clam up to hold it together
I want to Play-Do waveforms in the hideaway
I want to get on with getting on with things
I want to run in fields, paint the kitchen, and love someone
But I can't do any of that here, can I?

First train home I've got to get on it.
Got to catch, to catch to catch, catch, the...
First train home...

So what? You've had one too many
So what? I'm not that much fun to be with
So what? You've got a silly hat on
So what? I didn't want to come here anyway...

What matters to you, doesn't matter to me
What matters to me, doesn't matter to you
What matters to you, doesn't matter to them
What matters to them, doesn't change anything...

First train home I've got to get on it.
Got to catch, to catch to catch, catch, the...
First train...

Got to, Got to, Got to, Got to
Get, Get, Get, Get
Out, Out, Out, Out
Now. Now. Now.

Now.

Photo:Paiva
Lyric: Imogen Heap

-Paiva

Painter

2010-06-01T18:52:00.000-07:00

If I were a Painter...I would paint my memories.

Since that's the only way for you to be with me.

We'd be there together, just like we used to be...

Underneath the swirling skies for all to see.

And I'm dreaming of a place where I could see your face

And I think my brush would take me there...

But that would be only if I were a Painter...

Photo: Paiva

Lyric: Norah Jones

-Paiva

So much has been going on

2010-05-28T13:51:00.001-07:00

Title says it.

Well, I don't even know where to start. It's been forever since I've updated other than just random stuff.
Well, I saw Joyce Meyer. She was amazing. My family and I had gone to Spokane, WA to go to a confrence and I can't tell you all of the things I learned while I was there.
Just last night, we put bunkbeds back together (Me and Naomi's) I'm not sure how I feel about it. They are kind of big and clumsy. I kind of like being able to perch on the top and have sleep over parties with Naomi sometimes. XD But, otherwise I don't like them. They are in the way, crowded in the bottom bunk, no rail on the top (fear of falling off like I've done before when I was little) and...yeah. ._.
But for now, I will just have to deal with it. Until we can clean out the garage, take off the top one and just let me have my bunk like before. x3

School is almost done. I'm actually taking a quick break from working now. I have finals on June 8th and 9th. I finished my Health class and my Modern World Studies class. I still have to knock out German, Math, English, and Science. Basically most of them are just one or two more lessons, a review, and a unit test and I'm done. Then I'll have four days to study for finals, take them, and done. This school year has by far been the hardest working year ever. I think it's worth it though. I'd much rather do online school than public school.

Oh ho ho ho, I saved the best for last.
Two words: Social. Issues.

So, I'm not mentioning any names, nor am I going to address any situations. All I'm going to say is this: It's more than just drama. This is a factor of well-being. This is more than *cough* SOMEONE* will understand. I'm not saying that it's because it's hard to understand, but your brain just doesn't work the way for you to understand it right. You don't look in between the lines. You only see Yourself, the opposing person, and your "duty" or what you think your "duty" is. Just stay out of it.

c: Happy? No names mentioned.

So other than that, I'd best be back to the school work. Tonight, I plan on an Animal Crossing party, if I can get Ally to join >D

-Paiva

I love this girl x]

2010-05-22T21:16:00.000-07:00

Me and my twin being random on Animal Crossing. This is us in her room (Paiva = Blue, Ally = Pink) and we're doing our "Roll Over" Routine. xDD Or something.

Ally; we have to play a ton this summer, and maybe get some more videos uploaded, yeah? :D

-Paiva

How I miss 2007

2010-05-14T18:31:00.000-07:00

Hello guys, (whoever is out there O_O) xD

I miss 2007. Really bad. I was reading my old posts from 2007 & 2008 and I found them really hilarious. Like, even the ones were I was really upset. XD I couldn't help but to laugh when I read them because...I dunno it was just so funny to read them. xDD
I'm going to make an effort to make 2010 as good as 2007 was, maybe I can get it to be even better! :D

So wish me luck as I take my trip back into the past and apply it to 2010~

-Paiva

Who am I...

2010-04-18T22:43:00.000-07:00

"I guess I don't really know who I am..."
"I know who I am. I'm a nightmare."

Sleep

2010-04-15T21:28:00.000-07:00

I think I have been somewhere nice

How I want to go back there...

I think I will go back to sleep

It's so cold and shivery outside my cocoon

I am on my way

Back to...

-Paiva

Or I can just wake up and not fall back asleep, that's cool. >>

2010-04-11T02:07:00.000-07:00

Hei,
._______________. It's 2:00am.
I really wish I were back to sleep right now...but don't you hate it when you wake up from a "bad" or intimidating dream, then you choose not to go back to sleep because you don't want to think about it like your brain can't handle it? Yeah, *raises hand* that's why I'm up right now when I want to be asleep.

Also, do you hate it when you are in bed and you wake up all scared from a dream and you refuse to go back to sleep because you're just so like "x__X" from it...but then you fall back asleep a few minutes later and wake up again and thought "Wow, that dream I had earlier wasn't that scary now that I think about it..."
xD I think that's what's happening to me right now. I'm daring to rethink my dream a tiny bit, I'm still a little spooked but for some of the parts I'm not. ._.
ANYWAYS. I want to get my mind off of it so....
*wanders off*

-Paiva

2 Years

2010-04-05T06:34:00.000-07:00

365 +365 more.

I feel like I've known you longer

but it's only been

2 long years.

Happy Anniversary, Ally

-Paiva

Waves

2010-04-03T19:31:00.000-07:00

Waves

And goodbyes

I remember the way we were. But what are these waves coming over me? This must be the way it has to be...

Waves

Coming by.

Goodbye. Goodbye.

-Paiva

Spring Break

2010-03-24T12:12:00.000-07:00

Ahh, so it's finally spring break. I had to wait longer than I'm used to (only by a week or so) for mine since I switched from public to online school; online school's spring break is later. Well I have just a fewwww updates since I last posted:

Firstly, I haven't been doing as much photography as I'd like to since I LOVE taking pictures, but I have taken a few new ones and uploaded them to my deviantArt. Please check it out ^^

www.rasmus1tokiohotel.deviantart.com/gallery

Second, I'm going to see a Joyce Meyer conference in May! :O
I'm going to Spokane to see her, plus take lots of pictures (hopefully) and stay at a nice hotel and just enjoy myself on this trip since I NEVER go on trips. There is a slight chance that Stacey and Wendy are going to come with us (family friends from Canada ;D)

So yes, those are my updates for now!
-Paiva

Icky sicky ;_;

2010-03-05T18:37:00.000-08:00

I sound stupid when I say that but I AM. >8(
I'm a snotmonster DDD: Roar? ;_;

Well, I have a mixture between a flu and a cold or something. I have this stupid sore throat that lasts throughout the whole illness. Then I get these throbbing headaches, then dizzy spells, then I get nauseated. >_<

Other than that I"M SUPER THANKS FOR ASKING 8D

I'm feeling kind of hyper since I've been laying down basically all day and burning no energy. xD *spazz* *cough*

-Paiva

Ich Liebe Dich

2010-02-16T21:40:00.000-08:00

Ausgerechnet mir muss das passieren
Wir haben 1999 und ich altes Trottelgesicht hab mich verliebt
Ich sitz hier vor deinem dummen Foto
Und bemerk immer wieder wie hübsch du eigentlich bist
Und wenn ich hoch guck
Seh ich den Telefonhörer und ich denk mir
Ich heb ihn ab und ich ruf dich an
Und ich sag's dir einfach
Ist doch die einfachste normalste Sache der Welt
Vorher, vorher rauch ich noch 'ne Zigarette
Meistens rauch ich dann zwei oder drei Schachteln
Und halt die Klappe
Ne, du bist nicht nur hübsch
Du bist mehr für mich

Ich liebe dich

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

What must only happen to me.
We have 1999 and I fell in love with that old idiot's face
I sit here before your silly photo
And recall over and over how beautiful you are
And if I look up
I see the telephone receiver and I think to myself..
I pick it up and I call you
And I simply say to you
As if it is the easiest thing in the world.
Before, before I will smoke a cigarette.
Mostly, I smoke two or three boxes
And shut up.
You know, are not only pretty
You are more for me

I love you

Valentine's Day AGAIN

2010-02-15T01:07:00.000-08:00

It feels like I JUST did a Valentine's day post here...the years are zooming! D:

Well, yeah. Happy Valentine's Day!
I've been sick for 3 Valentine's days in a row! :0

Well, I've been busy making valentines. (since I send all of mine in the mail to my online friends so they'll be late anyways >_o)
Also, I got flowers as a gift! Finally, something that was not anonymous and not required! ;D

Happy valentine's day everyone. Just remember, being single is better anyways. ;)
-Paiva

The Dumbing Down of Love

2010-02-11T21:49:00.000-08:00

Music is worthless, unless it can
Make a complete stranger
Break down and cry

Paiva

Best friends...

2010-02-08T22:08:00.000-08:00

...Only because our parents probably couldn't handle us being real sisters. <3

-Paiva

Scarlet Pimpernel

2010-01-23T23:53:00.000-08:00

They seek him here. They seek him there.

Those Frenchies seek him everywhere.

His he in Heaven? Or is he in Hell?

This damned elusive Scarlet Pimpernel.

-Paiva

2010-01-22T19:58:00.001-08:00

I beg you. Please rain on my parade.

-Paiva

2010-01-17T23:43:00.000-08:00

So tired of waiting for the rain
Maybe...
Maybe I'll just cry without the sky.

So tired of waiting for the day to be over
Maybe...
Maybe I'll go to sleep and just never wake up.

So tired of waiting to get away from you
My free spirit, not so free anymore
is trapped behind your wall of desperation
this is your operation manipulation
has got me in this dreaded situation.

I'm so tired of waiting for the rain
Maybe...
Maybe I'll just cry without the sky.

Just this once, I'll cry without the sky.

-Paiva

When will this all end?

2010-01-17T01:32:00.000-08:00

Yeah. That's basically how I feel right now. I look like Imogen does in that picture. ):...But not as pretty. (xD)

I don't know how much longer I can handle being so alone like this, I need you guys to be online more. I have things to say. I want to talk to you two. ):

When I finally meet people that decide I'm decent in town (or at least the town over) I get them ripped away from me. I don't know what this invasion of privacy is supposed to mean, but no one wants to be alone like this, do they?

Raquel, Ally; I miss you two so much. I can't wait until someday, I won't have to stay up all night waiting for you to come online just to talk to you. Because that's what I've been doing this night. :/

-Paiva

2010-01-12T23:46:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday Raquel <3

-Paiva

Finals & Grammy Night

2010-01-09T14:39:00.000-08:00

CONGRATS TO IMOGEN HEAP for being nominated for "Best engineered non classical CD (Ellipse)" and "Best pop instrumental (The Fire)"

I hope she winsss :]

Other than that little shout out, not too much going on. Finals are coming up and I'll have to go down town to take them live which is kind of intimidating. (Online school, so it's the rare occasion of seeing people face to face from school)

So yeah, I've been taking quite a few photos, enjoying my Ellipse CD, and studying. So that's all that's happening...x(

-Paiva

Hide & Seek

2010-01-04T21:44:00.000-08:00

Where are we?
What the hell is going on?
The dust has only just begun to fall
Crop circles in the carpet
Sinking...feeling...

Spin me round again
and rub my eyes
This can't be happening...
When busy streets
a mess with people who stop to hold
their heads
h e a v y.

Hide

&

Seek

Trains and Sewing machines...
all those years
they were here first.

Oily marks appear on walls
Where pleasure moments hung before
The takeover,
the sweeping insensitivity
of this
still
l i f e.

Hide

&

Seek

Trains and Sewing machines...
All those years,
they were here first.

Mmm whatcha say?
Mmm that you only meant well? Well...of course you did.

Mmm whatcha say?
Mmm that it's all for the best? Because it is.

Mmm whatca say?
Mmm that it's just what we need? You decided this.

Mmm whatcha say?

What did she say?

Ransom notes keep coming out your mouth.
Mid-sweet talk, Newspaper word cut-outs.
You speak no feeling. No, I don't believe you.
You don't care a bit. You don't care a bit.

Okay, okay

2010-01-02T13:32:00.000-08:00

>_> So I broke my first resolution already and made some REAL resolutions. xD

Here we go:

Post on blogs at least once a month [ ]
Get all A's and B's by the end of the school year [ ]
Meet Ally [ ]
Find another "Pinkasaurus" crayon [ ]
Buy a Picnik subscription [ ]
Go somewhere out of Idaho [ ]

xDD So, I know a few of them are pretty random...but oh well.
I'll probably put these as a to do list, and maybe add more and then put it as a widget so I can check them off if I ever complete any.

That's it for now....Happy 2nd day of the New Year! 8D
-Paiva

Happy New Year

2010-01-01T13:55:00.000-08:00

So, my New Years resolutions never seem to be resolved...so I have just one this year.

1. Don't make anymore New Years Resolutions
Happy New Years ^^

-Paiva

Cheers for no cavities. :p

2009-12-09T13:31:00.000-08:00

So...I went to the dentist today. 8O And my teeth are all nice.
xD "Pearly whites, touch down smile!" - Imogen Heap

Not sure if that all applies to me, but yeah. It went over well and stuff. 8D

Also speaking of Imogen Heap....
HAPPY 32nd...I mean 21 *wink wink* BIRTHDAY DEAR IMMI I LAHV YEW :3

And, yesterday was my Anniversary with Raquel...and I have known her for 2 years! :D Amo-te ^^

Nothing new other than that...Christmas is coming up soon and I really need to get on the shopping for presents here. >_>" Half of it I know what I'm going to get, I just have to order it and wait for it to come through mail...and the other half I have no clue what to get. So, hopefully they won't turn into New Year's presents. xD

That's it for now...83
-Paiva

Happy Anniversary :'>

2009-11-20T18:10:00.000-08:00

That's right, today is November 20th, 2009. Meaning...

THE KEY TO MY HEART LIES IN THE RASMUS'S HANDS IS 3 YEARS OLD 8DDD

ahem, not that any of you care. x)

Soooo...I don't know what to do to celebrate. So I will...do nothing. 8)

Nakemiin...
-Paiva

-Is happy-

2009-11-08T09:16:00.000-08:00

I am SO excited for Thanksgiving...I don't even know why. It's like my favourite holiday even though nothing really happens. xD I guess I just like the time of the season or something...*shrug*

And Thanksgiving is close to 'The Key to my Heart Lies in The Rasmus's Hands" THIRD ANNIVERSARY! 8D -confetti flies everywhere-

So hopefully on November 20th, I will remember that is this blog's anniversary and I will post something. 8)

Tschuss
-Paiva

Imogen Heap

2009-10-16T07:25:00.000-07:00

"The more you look the less you see

So close your eyes and start to breathe."

:']

2009-09-15T19:58:00.000-07:00

I love her, I miss her
I'll hug her, then kiss her

When I need her, she's there

When I tell her, she'll care

She's more than words could ever say

I can't wait to be able to see you some day

Though we don't get to talk as often, Raquel, I know we are still close friends. And I've changed over the few years, and I'm sure you might have a bit too, it's normal. But just remember that I'm still the same little sister that you met on this same blog in 2007. :)

-Paiva

Life is finally beginging to be busy again...;D

2009-08-29T13:10:00.000-07:00

Yep, the title is pretty says it all. xD
I was reading some of my old posts on this blog from last year or something like that, and I was complaining about having an uneventful summer...WRONG. Man, last summer was like the best summer of my life now that I look back on it! D: I wish this summer were last summer. x)

But now that this summer is finally coming to an end, I have a few important dates coming up:

August 31st - First day of Internet school
September 1st - Tom and Bill's birthday
September 2nd - Tokio Hotel TV starts up again
September 16th - Mah best friend's birthday
October 2nd - TH's new Cd, Humanoid, comes out

So yeah, this is my last weekend of summer, and I think that I'm the only person on the planet that is glad that this summer is over. xD
I'll be taking German online...(and all of my other classes online) :D Which means no more Junior High!!! :DDD *does drunk happy dance*

Tom and Bill are turning 20 on September 1st....:S I wish they would stop being so old. D: STOP GROWING YOU DREAD HEADS D< ... <33

And then they day after, Tokio Hotel TV FINALLY starts up again! :D I'm so excited that I can barely stand it! I remember coming home from school every Wednesday at 3:30 and going straight to the computer and start refreshing their youtube channel, waiting for it to be uploaded...even though I was like, two hours early or whatever. >3>

And there are a few other things happening eventually. I just don't know when. Dx
So yeah, things are finally looking up again. Yay.

-Paiva

Um :]

2009-08-21T19:06:00.000-07:00

There once was a girl named Paiva
who's best friend was online-a
she lived far away
but that is okay
because she knows she's not alleine

Okay that was the WORST poem ever. But I'm really hyper so yeah. 8D
LOL I don't know what to say BYE. =3

Paiva

Thank you :3

2009-07-30T22:47:00.000-07:00

Hey, ever since that new "Follow" thing has been around (Probably isn't so new anymore..it is to me ;D) I've gotten a few followers. So thanks guys, it means much! ;D

Well, I don't have a real particular subject to talk to you about so I'm just going to tell you whatever pops in my mind. xD
Right now, I have been working on a few minor projects. I'm getting a job at a bakery eventually. I already turned in the application and they are interested in me. But they aren't sure what I can and can't do since I'm under aged. >> Bah
But I've also been thinking about cleaning out my room entirely and doing a few changes, since I'll be in it much more because I'll be home schooled this year! *happy dance*
I'm thinking I'll get rid of the clutter that is on all of the shelves and...everywhere else xD and also get rid of my friggin ugly dresser. Dx
I've had it since I was like, four. O_O
The only thing that I'll have to think through with that; is that there is a huge display of crap (beautiful crap of course ;D) on the top. It as all of my candles, music boxes, Rasmus and Tokio Hotel Cds and little things that remind me of some of my friends. Just a little cute display that I'll have to REMOVE. T.T
Oh well...x3

Oh, and I just got a really cool idea just now. But...I'M NOT GOING TO TELL YOU YET SO BAI.

-Paiva

New Blog

2009-06-19T13:52:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm still trying to think of what to write. x)

I made a new blog, if you didn't already know. It's not much yet, but here it is if you want to see it. http://paivalintu.blogspot.com/

So yesterday, my mom saw me making the new blog and she was all "YOU SHOULD MAKE ONE FOR MEH I WANT PRETTY COLOURS TOO!" .-. Okay mom...

Oh, I still need help trying to figure out a name for it. It's not going to be "Uh..." forever!...I hope. :[

So please someone tell me something cute to name it. :D
Oh, and I'm still using this blog as often as I can. I couldn't replace the cute little Rasmus template, could I? xD jk, I kinda like this blog...:x
Tschus, I guess. xD

-Päivä

Memorial Day Weekend.

2009-05-25T16:45:00.000-07:00

Hey guys, I really should be blogging more! D8

Well, today is Monday, Memorial Day, and I had three days off of school. ^^
So Selina and I went "camping" in her yard. xDD Sounds kinda silly, I know. But we had so much fun. xD
We didn't sleep at all.
We put up the tent around 10:30pm or something like that. And when her parents were putting up the tent, we were laying in the grass looking at the stars and I found a shooting star. ^^ I made a wish, too. ;] Who wouldn't, anyways?
So then once the tent was up, we turned up the Tokio Hotel tunes and did some Tokio Hotel RPing, mad libs, told random stories, and acted like we were high at some points. Every time we heard a drunk person walk by along the sidewalk, we'd press our faces against the tent wall and say "MUFFINS" really loud. xDD Lame.
After a while, this stupid bug came into our tent somehow. It was one of those huge misquitoe looking things with the /really/ long legs. DDx
We tried so hard to get that thing out. First we tried shooing it out normally, then we shook the tent and people thought that we were doing...weird things...in the tent when they walked by. xD Then we tried getting a cup and trapping it, then finally we just got her dog in and told it to "Eat the yum yum." 8D
It took us a good hour and a half to two hours trying to get it out. Then we wanted to wake up early so we could watch the sun rise, so we set my iPod alarm to 3:50am. xDD And it rang while we were trying to get the bug out and we were like "Well, it's time to wake up!" 8D
So then we watched the sunrise and blew a ton of dandilion poofs. Then we went to bed to be waken up about an hour or so later to go to church. >>
After church, we played with her little brother and his friend in a game of hide and seek. I totally pown at hide and seek. >8D I hid in this bush for like, ever. And I finally got so bored of hiding in it that I took out my iPod and was singing to Rasmus songs. xD And finally I started talking to them when I heard them yelling "Paiva, we give uuuuup!! D8" I got a very nice tan from sitting there forever. 83
Anyways, then we had collected a huge pile of rocks before that, so we painted them because rocks are totally awesome. We painted a lot of lady bugs. I painted a pink lady bug, one that looks like a music book, and one that said "Hilf Mir Fliegen" because that song is cool. 8D

So that was my Saturday and Sunday. But today, Monday, is actually Memorial Day. So me and my family had a BBQ and an...interesting game of Croquet. I sucked BS. It took me 55 shots AFTER everyone had won the game. >> I even shot it into the neighbour's yard twice. -_-

So yeah, i hope you guys had an eventful Memorial Day as I did. xD
Tschus und Nakeamiin!

-Päivä

Selina ;]

2009-05-05T21:13:00.000-07:00

Happy Lauri Day!! :D

2009-04-26T12:18:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday Lauri! :DDD

I know it's not his birthday TODAY, but I didn't get the change to post on his real Birthday on April 23. >>

But I did celebrate with a big bowl of Liqourice, Kola, cheese pizza, and lots of loud Rasmus music. 8DD

And I made my whole family sing happy birthday, it was quite hilarious. Half of them say "Happy Birthday dear L-ow-reeee" the other half goes "Happy birthday dear Loriiii" xD I think I was the only one that said it right, but oh well. xD I'm lucky enough to have them sing in the first place. They probably were thinking "Oh, let's just do it for the poor fangirl. >>"
x3

But yeah, happy 30th birthday Lau, we love you! :DD

-Paiva

She's mine~

2009-04-02T00:03:00.000-07:00

Beautiful brown eyes, I'd hate to see them cry
Even if you shed just one tear, I'll be there to dry it.
When you're feeling cold and far from the world
My arms will hold you tight and bring you back
I'd hug you all night if I must. If you'll let me.

Miles are silly and short, when it comes to love
Our hearts can meet each other, they can stretch the distance.
If we were 100 steps away, just take one and I'll walk the rest
I'm going to be here, holding your hand if you need me to

I'm your older sister
People see your picture and say "Is she your sister?"
And I proudly reply "Yes. She's mine."

-Paiva

2009-03-31T00:05:00.000-07:00

2009-03-20T20:15:00.000-07:00

The depressing Valentines day

2009-02-15T19:33:00.000-08:00

Happy Valentines Day everyone!
I remember last year on Valentines Day, I got a cold and fever! That is very ironic because I have another cold and fever on this year's Valentines Day. x)

Well, my holiday was very lonely. I keep telling myself that Valentines Day is just for flower shops and candy makers to get a ton of money...
Don't get me wrong, I don't want a boyfriend or anything...I just wish my best friend could be with me or something. :(

But aside from that, I hope everyone had a lovely weekend and holiday. :)

-Paiva

Stimpy and Percy!

2009-02-01T12:10:00.000-08:00

Here are my cats, Percy and Stimpy. Aren't they cute? ^^
The orange one is Stimpy, and the multi coloured one is Percey.

-Paiva

My never ending story.

2009-01-25T18:36:00.000-08:00

For english we were supposed to write "Short stories" for some reason...but for me, it's impossible to write a "short" story...
My teacher was like "All you need to do is write about two pages double spaced and that'll do!"
But I knew it wasn't going to be that easy. Mine is still on the prolouge and I'm on page five of the story. T.T

Well, it's about a dude named William...who's best friend is Thomas. (names sound familiar much? :p) But Williams father forces him to join the military and basically takes Thomas away from him.

It's a long story that I'm not willing to share so mleh. >>

I think it's more fun to read blogs that have colourfulness, don't you? xD that's why I'm using these random colours and stuff so don't mind it too much. xD

Yeah, so anyways...
There is a song that I really like called Kiss The Rain. It's by my favourite pianist in the entire world; Yiruma. ^^
I like it because it's just instrumental and it has no words, so when you listen to it, it's like a 'fill in your own story' type of thing. Whenever I listen to it, I think of my little twin because the song is almost as beautiful as she is. ^^ But when I listen to it, I day dream of us finally being together and running ouside in the rain, or walking in a place quiet, peaceful, and just the two of us. Well, even though I say "Everytime I listen to it I think of her." It's more like "Everytime I think of her I listen to it." You're going to laugh, my intunes playcount for it is 426 times as of having it for about five days. >3> I mean, so what; right?

Well, hopefully I'll be taking more pictures of something pretty like somewhere awesome around my town or something. But until then, you'll just have to be entertained by my colourful text. 8D
Okay, tschus & nakemiin!

-Päivä

I want to be the greatest Pokemon Master!!

2009-01-18T20:46:00.000-08:00

I have a secret for all of you. I am a Pokemon master!

I remember going into Professor Oak's lab and retrieving my frist Pokemon when I was four years old! 8D (yeah, I know...don't ask)
My first Pokemon was a squirtle! I named him Squirty. (I was four, okay?!) But then he grew up into a Blastoise. Now he's Squirty the Blastoise. .____. But yeah, I'm a Blastoise trainer.

But you see, I also have a nice collection of German Caterpies. In Germany they call them 'Raupy'. Oh, my second favourite German Pokemon is Piepi. (That's Clefairy) Because it sounds friggin awesome when it goes "PEE PEE! PEPEPEPEPEPEEEE!" :p

By the way, for all of you people who don't know much about Pokemon, these are the Pokemon I mentioned.

Blastoise

Squirtle

Caterpie (Raupy)

Clefairy (Piepi)

-Paiva

Oh nein! 8(

2009-01-16T17:48:00.000-08:00

Ugh, I hate my new schedule! I remember last year in seventh grade when I got my second semester schedule, and I loved it. Almost all of my classes were good and I had lunch with all of my friends. But this year, I have to have PE when the doctor even excused me from it for the rest of this year and everything else about my new schedule sucks. >>

But on a brighter note, I don't have school until next Tuesday so I'm happy about that.
Otherwise, not much is new.

So I guess I'll leave it at that.
Tschus & nakeamiin!

-Paiva

Mah Noo Hair

2009-01-11T18:26:00.000-08:00

Okay, so I sat in a chair for five and a half hours and paid 60 bucks to get myself some different hair. I would put up a picture but you guys would all laugh because I'll get comments saying "WTF Paiva, it doesn't look any different!" BUT IT IS!!! 8D
I got a full head weave of some blonde colour so now I have the natural dark blonde with light blonde weaved through it. :p It looks a lot different in person but on camera it doesn't unless if I were outside on a summer day. .___. So yeah. I like it though...

Another thing coming up is FINALS. T.T
I'm not too worried about English and Spanish finals...but I'm going to die when I get the Science final...xP I hate science...I even like MATH better than science! That's bad! T.T

Otherwise, nothing worth talking about is happening so I guess that's it for now.
Nakeamiin

-Paiva

Randomness of whatever comes to my head...like most of the other posts. x3

2009-01-05T12:52:00.000-08:00

Phobias...such weird things, no? How is it that we have them?
It's because of something bad that has happened to us in the past, right? Is that always the case?
If so, then why am I scared of bare feet? I DUN GET IT! xDD

This is hilarious. Today was supposed to be my first day back to school, but I'm not there. 8D
It's a snow day, freak coincidence, right? xD Or maybe it's just because I did the wind dance one too many times.
The only problem is, is that I am so lonely and bored. Normally, I'd rather be alone and just do whatever I want by myself, but today's not the case. I want to talk out loud to someone. ):
Oh well, my imaginary Bill is 100% real. 8D

Oh, speaking of my boredom, I went to youtube because...I was bored. .____. (I know this is lame, just hang in there with me)
So I don't remember how I got to watching it, but I came across a video of a Japanese drama called "1 Liter of Tears" and it is SOOOO sad. ;___; I sat here watching it and crying...the ironic thing is that there are no subtitles and I have no idea what they are saying...BUT IT'S STILL SAD. T.T

NOW SPEAKING OF SAD...8(
My guitar lessons /just/ got canceled...I haven't been to guitar lessons for THREE WEEKS because of winter break and stuff. :'(
But I've been working on a song in particular that I will hopefully be able to play at open mic as soon as possible. ^^ It's a song dedicated to my twin, I hope it turns out well.
Another thing I've been working on is 'Rette Mich' (Tokio Hotel...duh)
What I'm doing, is I'm recording while playing Rette Mich on my acoustic, but the catch is that I'm putting a capo on the...I don't know, a really high fret (probably fifth or sixth or something crazy like that >8D) and then I'm going to attempt to play it faster that the original song. The intention is to make it kind of sound like a music box. Wish me luck with that. xD

Nakemiin & Tschus
-Paiva

:D

2009-01-03T22:51:00.000-08:00

I'd like you all to meet...*drum roll* AVERY! 8D
She's my little friend from Canada...or should I say little sis. ;)

I just wanted to give you a shout out Avery, that you rock and I can't wait to see you again in March! ;)

-Paiva

Arrowplane <3

2008-12-31T16:30:00.000-08:00

And I know that the leaves turn, and I know that the snow falls where you are...

And I know that your family's close and I know that your friends are down the street...but you wait too far from me.

So put your arrowplane at my door, at my door.

So put you arrowplane at my door, at my door.

So you want to talk all the time. But we have to through telephone lines and we don't like to so much...but I like you so much.

I'm getting tired of this separation. Let's try and change this situation. Let's go, let's walk, let's talk together let's run, let's have some fun together...

So put your arrowplane at my door, at my door.

So put your arrow plane at my door, at my door.

Miles of rivers that come from the sea...are between us...so let's get close and make like a tree and LEAVE.

So put your arrowplane at my door, at my door.

(Trevor Davis.)

-Paiva

Comfort is...

2008-12-29T14:19:00.000-08:00

Comfort is...

...waking up to birds singing, sunshine and a clean blue sky.

...whipped cream on your pancakes....Laughing out loud for no reason at all.

...Hearing a song that reminds you of someone you love.
...watching the sunset.

...the smell of autumn leaves.

...cocoa with extra marshmellows.
...your favourite pair of slippers.
...morning coffee with a friend.

...fresh flowers, just because.

...homemade apple cider.

...relaxing by candlelight.

...making a flower crown out of daisies.

...baking a basket of muffins.

...a walk in the rain without and umbrella.

...seeing joy in the eyes of children.

...rain on your rooftop in the middle of the night.

...finding a letter in your mailbox from someone that is so special to you that you'd been thinking about.

...running through a sprinkler.

...going to the pond and feeding ducks.

...the time of day when the sun is just about to set, casting long dark shadows.

...seeing someone's face light up after you've given them a present.

...a brand new box of crayons.

...Autumn leaves gently falling to the ground.

...sitting on a porch swing on a clear day.

...singing somebody to sleep.

...singing along to a song that you have heard for the first time in years.

...bubbles and ice cream cones on a sunny afternoon.

...swinging on a swing.
...Tossing a penny in a fountain and making a wish.

...when a friend says that you mean alot to them.

...laughing in the grass and looking up to find shapes in the clouds.

...collecting beautiful autumn leaves to carry with you on your walk home.

...emailing a friend just to tell them you love them.

...coming home from your first day of school and hugging your mom.

-Paiva

Welcome back, Janne! 8D

2008-12-26T14:48:00.000-08:00

No, not Janne the drummer. xD
My laptop, Janne is back!! He died earlier this year. (Fried motherboard) So we took it to a shop and they said that it woulnd' t even be worth repairing because of the cost. So I was sad because all of my documents and pictures, music, and the list could go on, wasn't backed up! D8 So I had lost everything! Yeah, even my 200 Lauri pictures! D8

But some Christmas magic happened and I somehow got it fixed and here I am now! 8D
So now that I have all of my pictures back, I thought I'd show some to you just because! Here we go!

O Tannenbaum, O tanenbaum!!

My little house in Winter

Vergessende Kinder

My Sonic game. I took a picture of my chao. x3 The one on the left is Tom and the one on the right is Bill. Yeah, I named them that because I got twin chao. xD And look, they love each other! They always sleep next to each other! Isn't that sweet? ^^

VamPAIress. ^^ The Vampire Paiva. (and her evil "eye-glowing" cat, Percey.)

Tokio Hotel neclace that my sweet twin gave me. I wear it everyday. ^^

Meow?

I found this at the pumpkin patch. It looks like a butt. 8D It's the "Butt-ugly" pumpkin. xD

Looking for the Finnish flag...not there. :(

On the boardwalk!

Keep staring at the sea...keep staring! (love that song)

Me in some random place.

Sora and Axel's first trip in the snow...?

Tokio Hotel snowmen!! 8D

Bill in the front, Tom on the left, Georg on the right, and Gustav in the back.

Haha, that was fun.

-Paiva

Christmas shopping.

2008-12-20T21:55:00.000-08:00

Okay, so you know when you walk in Hot Topic and they ask you if you need help finding something, ja? Well, when I walk into Hot Topic, they don't ask me, but they show me where all of the newest Tokio Hotel stuff is. xD
It's kind of funny how they know what I'm doing in there. My mom took me there to get my Christmas present and they were like, "Oh hi, here's a Tokio Hotel DVD and our newest TH shirt in stock, meet you at the check out counter! 8D"
But hey, it works for me! :D

The only bad thing about knowing what I got and getting it early, is the fact that it's sitting there....under my Christmas tree...waiting...to be watched...:/ I want to watch it...NAO.

So anyways, I finally did something I've been wanting to do for years. I WROTE TO THE RASMUS. 83 Yay.

I have to go so I'm not going to finish any of my thoughts or anything that I was typing because I'm tired and I'm going to go to bed and not use commas periods or any other form of correct english including capitals on english BYE

Random Ramblings of whatever comes to my mind

2008-11-16T13:57:00.000-08:00

Pretty soon, I will be going ebay shopping! *happy dance* I am going to get a new Tokio Hotel cd, and a Rasmus hoodie or t-shirt. :) Yays.
Have you Rasmus fans seen the 2009 calender of TR yet? I want it! It even comes with those little sticker things xD

I have a good idea! How about I share one of my funky dreams with you!

Okay, so one time, I had a dream that I was walking through a field and I saw Tom and Bill running around. Tom was chasing Bill and they were laughing and being cute and stuff. x3
So I was walking through the field, trying my hardest not to laugh at their cuteness, and then Bill ran towards me, and began running in circles around me, trying to get away from Tom who was playing tag with him. They were laughing and saying "Imma gunna get choo" xDD
So I just stood there watching them run in circles around me then I burst out laughing. They stopped and stared at me while I stood there laughing.
I was still laughing really hard and I said "B-Bill xDDDD hahahaha!" and then he started laughing hysterically too, and so did Tom.
So we all just stood there laughing.
Unfortunately I woke up...I woke up laughing that is. xD What a dream...

I love most of my dreams. :p

-Paiva

Hosit The Colours High

2008-11-14T16:32:00.000-08:00

“A few more degrees North and the--EI!” The boat tossed viscously and the wind was audible from my hideout, the Captain’s Cabin. The tight room smelled of rum and old spices.

I stole this ship with my father when I was a surprisingly young age of eight years. It was titled ‘Luola ja Varis’ in 1742. My father, Captain Kunnia Jumalalle, sailed seas with his father who also sailed with his father. I follow in my ancestors footsteps. I long line of fathers and their sons, that’s they way we started and the tradition has continued since. Only one slight difference. My father’s son, me, was a daughter.

My father passed away in 1750, when I was 16 years of age. It is now 1755 and I am 21 years of age and I inherited my father’s stolen ship.

I am Captain Päivä Mehiläinen.
Chapter one:
I picked up my old rusty mug and looked thirstily inside.
“Homlo...” I muttered under my breath.
I stood up from the mapping table in the Captain’s Cabin and walked up the unstable stairs up to the deck. The wind tossed my hair and the rain pelted against my face.
The vessel rocked again and threw a few barrels of old spices towards my direction.
“Oh crap…” I grumbled to myself.
The next thing I knew, I was on the slippery floor of the deck, buried in sticky wet paprika. “Bugger!”
I sat in the wet pile of powder, completely soaked and dumbstruck. The ship titled slightly to a turn as an unopened bottle of rum rolled across the floor to my reach. My eyes widened at the sight of the fresh rum. I snatched it without a second thought and stood up.
“Ahh…” I thought out loud.
Forgetting about the mess that was made, I happily strolled back down to my cabin, holding the bottle close to my stomach. While I continued my way back to the mapping table, I groaned at the sight of my black and emerald green corset-like cloak. Attempting to brush off the sticky residue from the spices off of my cloak, I sat back in my place and retrieved my mug. Blankly, I stared at the mug, to the bottle, then back at the mug again. Pushing the mug away, I popped open the rum bottle and began to chug it down.
It was a long night…I needed it.
-Next Morning-
My eyelids fluttered open when I heard one of my favourite sounds, my crow, Lintu. How I managed to get to my hammock last night, I will never know considering the bottle of rum I found last night was empty and on the floor. I opened my eyes a little wider to see Lintu perched on my stomach. He quietly cawed as if to say “Good morning! Wake up!”
“My little Lintu, how are you this morning? I said sweetly.
Our quiet peaceful morning was ruined like any usual day on a pirate ship by the obnoxious calls and shouts coming from the deck.
“Now what are they doing this time…?”
I sat up and glared at the ceiling. Lintu shot up from my stomach and flapped back to his perch. I heard a loud thump from the deck above me and then the laughing suddenly seized.

Well, I thought I'd give it a try. My ancestors were pirates, so I thought it'd be cool to write a story about what it would be like if I were a pirates in the 1700's. Enjoy, or don't. xP

-Paiva

Wheat Thins and The Rasmus

2008-11-13T15:25:00.000-08:00

Well, I don't have too much to say other than ranting about people I don't like and the fact that TH TV WON'T BE ON OVER WINTER BREAK!!! DDD: But, they do deserve a break over the holidays. ;)

All I want to do is eat my Wheat Thins and listen to The Rasmus, that's all I've done since I got home from school. xD
Maybe I will grab a Mountain Dew too. :p

I also ordered Black Roses FINALLY from ebay so now I can have the CD under my pillow while I sleep! 8D
It hopefully shouldn't take any longer than 9 days to come. :D I STILL haven't gotten those dumb posters that I ordered in what...JULY?! >> Curse you, you darn poster people who LIE! >8(

-Paiva

Anniversary soon...?

2008-11-08T19:13:00.000-08:00

Yes, pretty soon it will be "The Key To My Heart Lies In The Rasmus's Hands" Anniversary. ^^ Yay! I followed through with something for once! :)

I just remember my first post was one Thanksgiving or somewhere around that...:D what a lovely time back then. ^^ I miss it then though.

But some things for me to think "Wow, I didn't have all of this great stuff back then!" are:

Raquel - Yeah, this is how I met you. ^^ What would I have done if I didn't!
Ally - I met you through a different blog of mine. ^^ I'm so glad I did too!
Tokio Hotel - Yup, I discovered Tokio Hotel around March, maybe a little before that.
Open Mike - Yeah, I didn't do Open Mike back then. I love performing at Open Mike now!
Johannes - My acoustic guitar that looks like Lauri's! (Johannes is Lau's middle name)
A youtube account - I love my youtube account, I love video blogging and stuff. (my account name is rasmus1tokiohotel. Check it out!)
My German - I didn't know ANY German back then!! (besides Guten Tag. >>)
Black Roses - I was still attempting to be patient for Black Roses to come out!
Stacey, Avery, and Loren - My Canadian friends I met this last summer. :)
MSN - I didn't have live chat back then x3

Well, that was fun, now wasn't it?

I am VERY excited for Thanksgiving. I don't know why; but in a way it's one of my favorite holidays. Not because it has lots of food. >> As good as my dad's Cranberry salad is and as good as my mom's sweet potatoes are; I absolutely LOOOOOOVE watching Pikachu and Bulbasaur fly across the screen in the parade!! :D I LOVE THAT PARADE, IT'S THE BEST! 8D

Anyhow, I'll try to post more.

Please vote too!

-Paiva

When was the last time...?

2008-10-08T21:41:00.000-07:00

When was the last time I actually ever made a blog post about "what I did today" or "what's going on in life." type of thing? NEVER? That's not true is it...? I'm sure there is a post around here somewhere more at the beginning about my day or something like that. O.o
Well, here it goes. My first post in a long while about how my life is going:

Today...Today is a Wednesday. Wednesdays for me are probably the most busiest days of the week.
So first things first, I wake up to the sound of my HIM alarm clock's peircing ring at 5:30AM and think the first thought I do every Wednesday morning. "Tokio Hotel TV's today!!"
I sprung out of bed at the thought of TH TV and then quickly remembered that if it was TH TV, that meant another dredful day of school. I turned of the stupid clock and sulked back into bed, knowing that I really should start getting ready. Slowly drifting back to sleep, when I shouldn't have been, I heard my laptop playing the soothing Rasmus music as it did everynight while I slept.
I opened my eyes and checked my surroundings for the first time this morning. The blinds were open, letting in the autumn sun. The golden rays on my Tokio Hotel poster made Bill shine even more.
"Guten Morgen..." I whispered to Bill on the picture.
I sat back up and got ready for school.

After getting through Technoligy Liturature, Physical Science, Pacific North West History (yawn), and Chior, it was finally time for lunch.
I opened up my bag, forgetting everything that was packed the same morning and peered in the bag. "OH EHM GEE! A TANGELO!!"
I screamed as I sat at the table with only boys. Half of them stared. Aaron, one of my older dude friends gave me a thumbs up.
"Oh come on! How can you NOT be excited?? They are half tangerine half......ELO! 8D"
After I ate my...Tangelo went outside, I sat on the top of the hill where I always sat and began to listen to my usual Rasmus. I was waiting for it...the one that bugged me EVERYDAY.
hum...let's call him...victim A >8) the other one will be victim B.
Victim A came sliding beside me. "How was your day? 8D"
"No." I said, and glared.
I loved to confuse him...but I hated it when he loved what I did...>> Like when he hugs me..I'll bite him. He likes it. O.o ew
He saw I was shivering because it was so cold out. He goes, "Awww...your shivering! *snuggles up* I'll warm you up 8D *squishes face against mine*"
I hate it when people touch me...only few people I don't mind giving me a hug or whatever...and he definetly was NOT one of those few.
I sat there and twitched a few times...I considered biting him...but he'd only "enjoy" it...
So I threatened him with my "secret weapons"
"I HAVE A FRIEND IN CANADA THAT WILL BEAT YOUR ARSE IF YOU EVER LAY A FINGER ON ME!! >8(" I screamed.
"Canada, ay?" he said, he looked up at me, but he kept his arms locked.
"Yus >> and he's stronger than hulk. Or how about my soul sister from Portugal? Hum...she's gunna kick your arse if you touch me!"
I knew that wouldn't stop him...he may get beatten up in the future, but it wouldn't stop him from hugging me now.
"I know how to kick box!" I shouted, holding up my fists ready to punch him. He backed away. Then I laughed in my head.
Victim B, also known has Victim A's little brother >> came around too. He was able to get rid of Victim A no problem...but now I was stuck with him.
I do have to say...he had...ahem...better control, I suppose.
After he hugged me O.O 50 friggin times...he actually talked to me >> whoopie friggin doo...
But luckily school was over after more classes.
I rushed home and logged on to the computer to go and leave a few comments on Tokio Hotel's Channel.
I waited and refreshed the page for a good 40 minutes until it finally was uploaded.
I watched and it was so cute! ^^
Then I went to youth group which was kinda nice. :)
I made prayer requests that My soul sister, Raquel, would be able to come to America next year (or sooner if possible) and that she would have a safe travel over seas :) I also told everyone about her and my other two best friends. Ally, My sweet little twin; and Stacey; one of my best friends that lives in Canada (I mentioned him before...right? xD)
It was kinda like...:
"OMG SISTER FROM PORTUGAL, CHECK OUT THE BRACELET SHE GAVE ME! ALLY, PRETTY HAPPY SHINNY PEOPLE! *getting weird glances* STACEY PEACHES FROM CANADA OMG! *fries and collapses on the floor*

Yup...that was basically my day. Nothing terribly special happened. Just a "normal" day...8D

-Paiva

Beautiful Autumn day

2008-10-02T21:14:00.000-07:00

Yes, Paiva's favorite season is here! It's beautiful, calm, peaceful, and perfect weather. What's not to love about autumn? (besides school starting again >>)

I took Johannes (my acoustic guitar, named after Lauri's middle name of course :p) and went for a walk down to the park where the trees and leaves were GORGEOUS. I sat in the grass and played guitar for a few hours and it was so relaxing...it was like..."all stress relieved"

Look at these beautiful leaves:

I would go out and play my guitar in the autumn happily if I didn't have so much homework and school to attend to. :(

But someday, I won't and I will be able to do that more often. ;)

-Paiva

8O

2008-09-28T12:31:00.000-07:00

OH EMM GEE!!!!!! BLACK ROSES IS OUT!!
omgomgomgomg it's so awesome!
I'm listening to the album version on youtube and I'm going to preorder it online, even though it doesn't come out for me until October 7th! I'm bouncing off the walls here! I'm so friggin excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~Life is like a boat in a bottle, you try to sail -you can't with no air
Day by day it only gets harder, you tried to scream but nobody cares
Through the glass you see the same faces...I could go on but I have to pee really bad so Bye.

-Paiva

Tokio Hotel! You won!! 8D

2008-09-09T16:14:00.000-07:00

I am so friggin HAPPY for TOKIO HOTEL!!! They just won the VMA New Best Artist Award! BECAUSE THEY ARE THE BEST!! :D:D:D:D

Yayyy! *happy dance* They totaly deserved it!!

Congrats Georg, Gustav, Tom and Bill!! ^^ You guys rock, and I am so proud of you! 8D *kisses all of them* XD

They looked so precious up there! I can't believe how exciting this is!

You four, you are so beautiful and talented. I love you more than you think! <33

Congrats to all four of you! You have done an amazing job so far!!

-Paiva

2008-09-01T09:22:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday to you, happy birthday to you! Happy birthday my dearest darling smooshypoo Tom and Biiiiiiill! *pauses for dramatic effect* HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! :D

Tom and Bill,
You have finally reached the age 19. You must be proud of yourselves for living for so long! :D I know I am, and when I reach your age you will be about 24 years old.

I almost shudder at the thought of you growing up that fast, but it's going to happen sooner or later. D: Don't grow so fast! Stay young with me!!
Anyways, don't work to hard on your birthday and just take it easy. ;) Have an awesome day and don't forget all of the love from your fans.

I love you to death, please don't ever forget that. :*

-Paiva

Three Little Words

2008-08-23T11:35:00.000-07:00

Those three little words you said are ringing in my ears.....I hear you

I open my eyes to see those three little words written on your face.....I see you

When the warm embrace from your arms reach for me, they remind me of those three little words.....I feel you

It is inside, the truth lies inside my heart.....I love you.....

Vote for Tokio Hotel for best new artist!

2008-08-03T15:01:00.000-07:00

VOTE FOR TOKIO HOTEL'S "MONSOON"

http://www.mtv.com/ontv/vma/2008/best-new-artist/

DO IT OR I'LL KILL! muah ha ha!

-Paiva

Psst tee lalala!

2008-08-03T14:54:00.000-07:00

Mina Rakastan The Rasmus
Mina Rakastan The Rasmus
Mina Rakastan The Rasmus
Mina Rakastan The Rasmus...Believe it.

I am so friggin bored! All I do is sit on my butt and think about The Rasmus and Tokio Hotel...that's not a bad thing...I just want to do something interesting for once. Maybe...I should go and *thinks* jump off of a roof...I've always wanted to be on a roof. I want my first gig to be on the roof of a buiding in Finland. XD
Anyways....I guess I can go think about The Rasmus or Tokio Hotel some more... *yawn*
This has been one of the most boring summers in the world! I've done some "interesting" things but not enough to entertain me through the rest of vacation. I do NOT want to go back to school either! So it's a lose lose situation I suppose........

-Paiva

The Rasmus Rantings

2008-07-31T09:05:00.000-07:00

It seems that it has been forever since I have made a post for no particular reason! 8D
So I guess I will do something that I'm really good at....ranting about TR! I have mastered the art of Rasmus ranting!!
So anyways, I was online the other day and I found a site with TR posters on it and I almost died! I NEEDED THOSE POSTERS! So I begged my mom for a long time to get them for me and she finally caved in. So we ordered them and the website said something like, "Lucky for you we have millions of that copy and yours is coming in about two to three days!" and I was like, "YEAH! OMG I'M GETTIN' TR POSTERS!" then like, two minutes later I got an e-mail from the site and they were like, "HAhaha you gullible little child! WE LIED TO YOU! muah hahaha we don't have anymore in stock so now it's on back order! HAVE A FRIGGIN NICE DAY!"
I was like, ".....you've got to be kidding me! WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?! *throws computer out the window*"
But I also ordered two TH posters and one has already come....but I'm talking about TR not TH so forget that I said that! 8O
I'm drinking coffee, while ranting to nobody about The Rasmus. What could ever go wrong?
Ha, someone that hates me will probably walk in and give me grief. *looks around nervously*
ANYWAYS...You know how Tokio Hotel has their own TV channel? I really wish that The Rasmus would have "Rasmus TV" That would be so cool! But of course we have our wonderful Eero to give us updates. So that's almost better than a TV because we have the real thing! ^^
But it'd still be cool I think...
Well, I think I'd better quit ranting and leave you alone...I highly doubt anyone that came to my page stayed long enough to read this far anyways X3 So never mind...

-Paiva

For my sister that I love so much...

2008-07-10T16:19:00.000-07:00

In my dream, I was talking to her online and she said that she had to leave and so I said "Are you coming back soon?"
And she said, "No, I'm leaving..."
I was so confused! Then when I asked when her when she would be back and she said, "I'm not, I no longer wish to talk to you anymore. This is goodbye." and you signed off and I never heard from you again...and when I woke up I was so confused because I thought it really happened for a moment...it felt so real in the dream. D:
Heh, leave it to me to be stupid and dream about stupid things like that happening...why does my brain put me through this? :S

Amo-te tanto, Raquel!!!

-Paiva

Black Roses Update!!

2008-07-06T21:12:00.000-07:00

One word...the only one you need to know... GORGEOUS!!!

Living in a World Without You:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zc18NnORSRE

Ten Black Roses:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jLAWzDR7sEI

Mina rakastan TR, and all of your fans can't wait for the new cd coming in September!!

-Paiva

Bring The Rasmus To Spokane!

2008-06-21T18:12:00.000-07:00

My friend and I made a petition to try to show to The Rasmus that they have fans that would go to Washington, Spokane to see them if they went there to perform. And we hope that we can get enough signatures to get them over here because we want to see them, and traveling far is not affordable at times and it would mean the world to us and other fans to bring them over here to perform for us.

http://www.petitiononline.com/mod_perl/signed.cgi?p2pty105

Please sign it! Kiitos!

-Paiva

The Key to my Heart

Can I live here?

Why are you doing this?

The Moment I Said It

Why don't you say anything anymore?

Keep Your Heart Broken

Moving out!

200th post?

Sweet Adelines Competition 2011 Part 2

Sweet Adeline Competition Part 1

Tons and tons of updates!!!

The Long Day is Over

Write to pass the time...

Heapy New Year, Come What May 2011~

2010's Christmas

Oh, yes!

Not the most spectacular of improvements...

No Christmas tree yet?!

*clears throat*

Photos of what happened to the poor eye. ;o;

Not impressed, Doctor. >8(

Had a nice dream :3

Eye Surgery was today :[

Yesterday in a Nutshell...

Here's the word:

Lists and Punishments

Blogging: My second wind

x')

Backstreet Boy dreams. O_o

Updates for June 16th - 18th

Oh. Mah gosh.

I don't know where to....start... :3

First Train Home

Painter

So much has been going on

I love this girl x]

How I miss 2007

Who am I...

Sleep

Or I can just wake up and not fall back asleep, that's cool. >>

2 Years

Waves

Spring Break

Icky sicky ;_;

Ich Liebe Dich

Valentine's Day AGAIN

The Dumbing Down of Love

Best friends...

Scarlet Pimpernel

When will this all end?

Finals & Grammy Night

Hide & Seek

Okay, okay

Happy New Year

Cheers for no cavities. :p

Happy Anniversary :'>

-Is happy-

Imogen Heap

:']

Life is finally beginging to be busy again...;D

Um :]

Thank you :3

New Blog

Memorial Day Weekend.

Selina ;]

Happy Lauri Day!! :D

She's mine~

The depressing Valentines day

Stimpy and Percy!

My never ending story.

I want to be the greatest Pokemon Master!!

Oh nein! 8(

Mah Noo Hair

Randomness of whatever comes to my head...like most of the other posts. x3

:D

Arrowplane <3

Comfort is...

Welcome back, Janne! 8D

Christmas shopping.

Random Ramblings of whatever comes to my mind

clears throat